John & Michelle Kabashinski

3 Ways To Start A Spiritual Practice

spiritualhealthplan — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 23:42:36 +0000

Looking to deepen your spiritual connection but unsure where to start? Whether you're a busy professional, a parent juggling multiple responsibilities, or simply someone seeking more meaning in life, fitting a spiritual practice into your daily routine can seem daunting. But fear not! Here are three simple and effective ways to integrate spirituality into your busy lifestyle.

1. Start with Mindfulness and Meditation

Mindfulness and meditation are powerful tools that can transform your day-to-day experience. Just a few minutes a day can reduce stress, improve focus, and enhance emotional balance. You don’t need a special place or time for this – whether it's in the morning, during a break at work, or before bed, these practices can be easily integrated into your daily routine.

Why Mindfulness and Meditation?

Reduces Stress: Regular practice helps manage stress by promoting relaxation and calm. Studies show that mindfulness meditation can significantly reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression .
Improves Focus: Enhances concentration and clarity of thought. Research indicates that mindfulness practices improve attention and cognitive flexibility .
Balances Emotions: Helps in managing negative emotions and enhances overall emotional well-being. A meta-analysis found that meditation practices are associated with reduced emotional reactivity and increased positive affect .

How to Get Started:

Find a Quiet Spot: Choose a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.
Set a Timer: Start with 5-10 minutes and gradually increase the time as you get more comfortable.
Focus on Your Breath: Pay attention to your breathing. Inhale deeply and exhale slowly, letting go of stress and tension with each breath.

Visualize yourself meditating in various settings – at home, in a park, or even at your office. The beauty of mindfulness and meditation is their adaptability to your lifestyle.

2. Incorporate Spiritual Reading and Reflection

Incorporating spiritual reading and reflection into your routine can provide inspiration and new perspectives. Books, articles, and podcasts on spirituality can be enlightening and enriching. Set aside a few moments each day, perhaps before bed or during your commute, to immerse yourself in thoughtful content.

Why Spiritual Reading and Reflection?

Inspires New Perspectives: Offers fresh insights and wisdom. Reading spiritual texts has been linked to enhanced spiritual well-being and increased life satisfaction .
Enhances Knowledge: Broadens understanding of spiritual concepts and practices. Engaging with spiritual literature can deepen your understanding of complex spiritual and philosophical ideas .
Encourages Reflection: Promotes introspection and personal growth. Reflection on spiritual readings can lead to greater self-awareness and personal development .

How to Get Started:

Choose Your Material: Select books, articles, or podcasts that resonate with you.
Set a Regular Time: Dedicate specific times for reading or listening, like before bed or during your commute.
Reflect on What You Read: Spend a few minutes reflecting on the content and how it applies to your life.

Imagine cozy settings where you can enjoy your spiritual reading – a quiet corner at home, a peaceful spot in a park, or even a comfortable seat during your commute.

3. Engage in Community and Service

Engaging in community and service is another fulfilling way to nurture your spiritual practice. Connecting with like-minded individuals or participating in volunteer activities can foster a sense of purpose and belonging. Look for local groups or online communities that align with your values and interests.

Why Community and Service?

Builds Connections: Fosters relationships with like-minded individuals. Social connections are crucial for mental health and can enhance your spiritual journey .
Enhances Purpose: Gives a sense of meaning and fulfillment. Volunteering has been shown to improve life satisfaction and well-being by providing a sense of purpose and belonging .
Promotes Altruism: Encourages selflessness and empathy. Acts of service can increase feelings of empathy and compassion, leading to a more fulfilling spiritual life .

How to Get Started:

Find Local Groups: Join local spiritual or community groups.
Volunteer: Participate in volunteer activities that resonate with your values.
Engage Online: Connect with online communities and forums.

Visualize the joy and fulfillment of engaging in community activities – whether it's a community gathering, a volunteer project, or an online discussion group.

Conclusion

To recap: Start with mindfulness and meditation, incorporate spiritual reading and reflection, and engage in community and service. The important thing is to get started and stick to it. There is no “best” way to connect with God. God is always there, just waiting for you to knock.

By integrating these practices into your life, you'll not only enhance your spiritual connection but also improve your overall well-being. Remember, the journey is personal, and the key is consistency. Embrace these practices, and watch as they transform your life.

So why wait? Start your journey today and discover the incredible benefits of a deeper spiritual connection.

The post 3 Ways To Start A Spiritual Practice appeared first on John & Michelle Kabashinski.

Finding Forgiveness

John Kabashinski — Fri, 03 May 2024 20:25:04 +0000

“Just get over it" or "There's nothing to forgive anymore, I am over it”

- client comments

Forgiving The Unforgivable

Through fifteen years as a spiritual healer, these are just some of the things that people I work with will hear or say themselves when dealing with issues of abuse, neglect, and betrayal. By the time a client gets to me, they've often tried everything and still find they continue to have problems in relationships, and chronic health and emotional challenges that won't seem to go away. Most start out avoiding and then medicating, but the litany of treatments and pills just don't work. Eventually, they get sick and tired of being sick and tired and look for a spiritual answer to heal the hole in their soul.

Spirituality is scientifically proven to lead to a longer, healthier life with greater satisfaction. For those who truly immerse themselves, I've watched it provide lasting comfort and, in some cases, instant relief. But how and why does it work? If you're looking for an answer, I’ve developed A.M.E.N., a four-step process to face fears, process pain, and forgive the unforgivable for you.

The Steps Are Simple

Acknowledge Your Pain

Discover the painful experiences that created the negative emotional patterns in your life. The first step is to even recognize that you have a negative emotional reaction and there is a pattern of what triggers it and how that is connected to an early experience.

Meditate On It

Take time to really understand the core experience, or if you can't remember then the pattern itself, and get in touch with the negative emotions and how they work on a reactive mind level. Create a little distance by observing how it works within you.

Express Your Emotions

Release those negative emotions by expressing them in a healthy and intentional way that honors yourself and creates closure over their control of your life.

Nurture Forgiveness

Forgiveness takes time. Most people don't just "get over it," so learn to get there in a healthy way that releases the hold the core experience had on your life. Start creating new patterns that retrain the reactive mind to let the feelings pass and find true forgiveness.

How Does It Work?

If you’re just beginning to deal with painful experiences or have been at it a while, A.M.E.N. is grounded by an integrative look at the body, belief, and behavior and explaining how Higher Self and spiritual energy work within an evidence-based, neurobiological viewpoint. It describes how you form energy blocks from painful experiences, or core wounds, and how the resulting thoughts and reactive emotions cause stress, which becomes a disease. It explores how energetically we are drawn to similar experiences and the unconscious shame, fear, and anger that it creates. How this victim trap can be healed and the importance of grieving and avoiding emotional detours. Then through real spiritual connection and forgiveness, how there is a constant realignment of beliefs to what is genuine and loving.How this changes how you feel and see the world without stress, disease, and victimhood.

It’s not about forgiveness that lets abusers off the hook, but mercy and grace that take the hooks out of you. Even if you can’t remember the actual abuse, but show all the signs, through forgiveness, you can transform the adverse emotional and physical effects of abuse into real spiritual growth and better health. You can develop and grow into a higher awareness of compassion, and a calm acceptance of your truth as you learn to stay in the present. Afterward, you can discover a life filled with love and finally thrive, not just survive, by eventually leaving those experiences behind as blessings that brought a deeper connection.

The Opportunity

If you are interested in becoming a Beta participant in the online course, A.M.E.N. - Four-Steps to Forgiving The Unforgivable, let me know. You will be able to join at a reduced rate of $45.00 (for Five 90 minute Online Sessions.) By the end you will find a deeper understanding of forgiveness, and go through each of the four steps in the A.M.E.N. process.

Contact me at: john@kabashinski.com

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Time Is The Great Illusion

John Kabashinski — Wed, 03 Apr 2024 23:25:36 +0000

“The distinction between the past, present and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

Albert Einstein

Time Defines Us

Time is the glue that holds us in illusion. Our life, or our consciousness of a single life in a body, is measured in time. We believe that we begin and end in this life, without a memory of before or much concern for after. But reality is that we are immortal and exist beyond this life and before it as well.

This temporal consciousness is also the basis for our belief in fear and security. We begin to believe in our life as finite as we also do in our separateness from our Creative Source. As we watch the sun and moon, rise and fall, and the seasons come and go, we see life in the physical natural world beginning and ending in a consumptive struggle for survival. We believe we are born and die and in anticipation count moments in between.

Time Defines Fear

As we suffer with hunger and through hardship, we count time as it passes until our rescue or demise. The sun and moon and seasons are reliable benchmarks for the duration of our experience of suffering. So we begin in our separateness to make them the basis for our new false reality. While the rhythms of life and death are measured as time, when we meditate time disappears and seems to contract. It passes by quickly when we are consumed with our consciousness focused on the present. But our sadness from our past and worry of the future is born in the illusion of time. As we believe in time, we begin to hold on to our negative emotions. Suffering is paramount in our beliefs as our primary focus.

Our painful experiences give birth to our fears because time holds our reality. We believe as time passes we may repeat this painful experience, so we hold it in our consciousness and then compare each new experience to it. If it is vaguely similar we respond in our body and mind. So our temporal consciousness allows for our fear cycling mind.

We Desire More Time

Time is also the basis for our desires. If we count the time of our suffering it expands. Time seems endless when we are gripped in fear. It is as if one night of suffering will never end, while at peace and bliss pass by effortlessly. We then believe in scarcity. When we don’t obtain things we need for survival in a timely fashion, we begin to anticipate our future suffering. We hoard and compete with others to obtain our needs. Here our separateness solidifies in our consciousness. We no longer are aware of our needs being constantly met by our creative Source but as a result of our ab ility to manipulate and control others and our environment. We give our individual will away to the collective.

As we focus more on this ability to obtain and control we begin to associate happiness and peace with satisfying what we want. As a co-creator of our world, we value it only for how it serves us. We rationalize any and all negative behaviors to make this real. Our separateness now extends past our Creative Source and includes all others.

Time Is An Illusion We Value

Our false reality is cemented together with time. Our values goals and roles are seen only through this viewpoint and keeps driving our fear, suffering and unfulfilled desires. How we focus our consciousness becomes the dictate of the time over will.

We work to eat. We only eat as well as our work is valued by others. Time then gives birth to another illusion money. We receive paper or metal for our labor. We begin to believe our worth is about how much of this we accumulate. We believe having more will provide us happiness. Our lives march by and we are slaves to this illusion, which is only real because it is widely held and we believe it.

We then begin to value time. Time is money. We neglect our relationships and push down our emotions to best spend our time. We set goals and then reassure them with time. Pursuits that do not increase our value of time and money become worthless. Our life becomes obsessed with the efficient use of time in order to raise its value. We stop making time for each other. Science and technology amplifies this temporal consciousness. Each new innovation amazes us with its compression of time. Tasks that previously took months, become hours, and days become minutes. The labor of many becomes the job of a few. But this worship of time does not create more of it.

Time Runs Us

On the contrary, as we continuously master time we are mastered by it. We no longer have meaningful communications but lots of it. We become preoccupied with email, cell phones and other technological tethers to our consciousness. We thing we are mastering our time. We spend little time in actual constructive labor and much of it in managing how it is spent.

But how much time do we spend with our Creative Source each day? It becomes increasingly harder in a modern world to find that time. How much time do we spend revisiting our questions, reexamining what we believe, value and our purpose for being. How much time do we spend working on our key relationships or even valuing our self? The illusion of time begins to claim our life, not just define it. We must break free of our temporal consciousness by reconnecting to the Everlasting Truth.

Then we being to see time as just an illusion held together by fear. We remain in a world measured by time and valued by money, but this world begins to leave us. We start to see a greater reality that is timeless. By seeing it we grow closer to it.

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Our False Reality

John Kabashinski — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 19:11:31 +0000

Everything’s fine today,

that is our illusion.”

- Voltaire.

We are attracted to narratives that fit our emotional state and then we become addicted to the emotional release they create- the feeling of letting go negative emotions like fear anger by having someone or something to blame. We develop a narrative that is a slave to this emotional feedback cycle and can have little to do with the rational truth. The important component is the creation of the other, the people who think differently, look differently, act differently, who are dead set on disrupting the reality we have become desperate to uphold. This internal narrative demonizes and dehumanizes the toxic other, creating the opportunity for our negative emotions to well up around some new story or struggle that dramatizes our narrative and cements our false reality because, “I wouldn’t feel this way if it weren’t true.”

There are always shreds of truth in the false narrative- facts that support our case, visual evidence that what we believe must be true, or isolated truths taken out of the context of a broader reality. But within our addiction to the emotional feedback cycle we ignore the broader truth, the obvious facts that support another possible understanding, the trusted friend who tries to bring us around to another way of thinking. We end up believing a lie, a distortion of truth that twists us into the hero of a narrative where we are the oppressed, the victim, threatened by the existence and beliefs of the other who is trying to take what we have and threaten our peace and existence.

We all do it. We all have a narrative, or have had one, which keeps us in an illusion where we are in a struggle with our own fears and desires. We all have demonized the other, whether it’s a boss, politician, or people from a strange culture or those who look different than us. It’s the root cause of racism, xenophobia, sexism, homophobia, bigotry and the general perception of the enemy, which fuels wars and eventually genocide. Good people can do horrible things when they share a narrative that demonizes the other and share an emotional feedback cycle that releases their hate until they become addicted to it.

But what is the truth, what is reality and why is it important? The truth when we are in a lower consciousness is rarely the truth, or even slightly resembling it. We believe a narrative where we are a good person even when we perpetrate horrible things on others. We rationalize our behavior and create a reality that maintains the perception of reality that serves that good person perception. That’s why we need the other. “They made me do it.” “I had no choice, do you know what would have happened?” “You know what those people are like.” or we will even create or join a narrative that dehumanizes the other as “animals” “parasites” or “evil”.

The truth is they are not animals but humans just like us. They have families, share good times and bad, and struggle to stay alive and find peace. But to accept that truth we would have to let go of our narrative and our addiction to our negative emotional feedback cycle. The truth is there is often more than one truth. In a lower consciousness we are stuck in a binary view of the world with winners and losers. In reality there are possible outcomes where we both win and we both lose depending on our level of consciousness, emotional awareness and what we value as to what makes a winner or loser. With every hard truth in our own narrative there is often a scenario where the opposite is also true – not always, but often. Raising our consciousness requires us to ask the simple question, “Is the opposite also true?” If it is, we require the awareness and spiritual health to avoid the trap of a binary, either/or worldview that feeds our false reality and seek out ways for us to find compassion, kindness and a willingness to serve. If we can lean into these as our first reactions rather than the negative emotions that well up in our false reality, we can raise our awareness, our perception of the situation, our consciousnesses of what is reality and truth and find the peace we are seeking.

That’s why in most religions the objective is peace. The emotional trap of our false reality, our own narrative that keeps in a negative emotional feedback cycle, leaves us yearning for the one thing that is more precious than winning, obtaining and consuming, that’s peace. It’s the common trope that, “Money doesn’t bring you happiness.” “Nothing is more important than family.“ “It’s better to give than receive” While they are well worn maxims that can have little meaning when we are being consumed by our own personal false reality, they are true just the same, not just for us personally, but as a reflection of a universal truth.

This greater or universal truth is how we find our Creative Source. Instead of finding a “other” for us to hate, dehumanize or be in competition with to satisfy our false reality, when we begin to raise our awareness we seek out a mysterious “Other” that we connect to through a higher or universal truth that brings us peace and offers us to feel positive emotions based in love. That’s the point of spirituality. It is the higher awareness itself. This higher consciousness is what created us, and everything around us. We are not alone, unloved and in a false reality in fear or competition with the other. We are part of everything; in a world of abundance that provides for everything we need and loved by the mysterious Other, the creator of everything. That’s what a change in awareness from our false reality of either/or to a higher awareness of both/and offers.

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Chasing the Darkness, Finding the Light

John Kabashinski — Mon, 04 Mar 2024 20:55:43 +0000

“An inspiring true story about healing from emotional pain. I knew the heroes of this book and lived some of what John writes about so clearly. Highy Recommended”

Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.

Author - Healing The Child Within

John Kabashinski

In this transformational memoir, John recounts his journey of being married to Laura, a sexual trauma survivor. Just after they fall in love, Laura recalls years of physical, emotional and mental anguish by her father. Her parents lash out in denial and self-preservation and she suffers with anxiety, depression, and other illnesses. She learns to find healing by facing her pain and through spirituality and forgiveness. As John and Laura finally begin to knit together a new life, she tragically dies from a burst ectopic pregnancy. In order to cope, John follows her example by facing his own pain and spiritually connecting. He eventually discovers love is always changing form.

“A tale of love found then lost. This book is a must-read for anyone who has lost a loved one and looking for hope in our world.”

- Joe W. -

“An inspirational true story about love, loss, survival and finding true happiness.”

- Mike K. -

“It literally changed my life! After I read it, I called up everyone I loved and cared about and told them so. You'll understand when you read the book.”

- Mary M. -

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What’s red and good for your heart? “Beets” me!

Michelle Kabashinski — Sat, 03 Feb 2024 17:41:06 +0000

In closing out heart-health month, let’s spotlight the beautiful beetroot. She packs a nutritional punch offering many benefits for the heart and the whole body.

Heart & Blood

The heart of this glorious globe is nitrate, which (after the body converts it to nitric oxide) improves cardiovascular health and blood flow. Research has shown that Nitrate-rich beets relax and expand blood vessels, efficiently use oxygen, help lower blood pressure and improve exercise capacity. Great news if you need to walk that extra mile before tiring out.

Liver & Kidneys

Beets are one of the few vegetables containing red pigment betalains, which can support liver and kidney function. High in this antioxidant, studies have shown that beets stop abnormal cell growth, and significantly reduce cell damage. This is a big win for those who want to slow the aging process and, more importantly, avoid or manage chronic and degenerative diseases.

Gut & Colon

With almost 4 grams of fiber per serving, this red root aids in digestion and supports healthy bowel movements. Beet pectin also promotes the growth of good bacteria in your gut - these are the good soldiers protecting your immune system against inflammation and disease.

You just can’t “beet” the benefits of this tasty taproot. Grilled, steamed, or even raw, the versatile veggie can be enjoyed in a variety of ways. My favorite is simply diced and roasted in a 400° oven for 10 minutes. Serve leftovers atop salad greens. Yummers!

No matter how you slice this non-starchy vegetable, your heart will “beet” happily. And as with anything - moderation is key. Eat too many of these beauties and you might end up with kidney stones due to their high level of oxalates.

BONUS TIP: Choose whole beetroots with the leafy greens still attached. You’ll get two veggies in one. Those lovely tops are a great source of immune-boosting chlorophyll and Vitamins A & C.

As a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach and an ACE certified Nutrition Specialist, I’ve helped hundreds of clients improve their cardiovascular health and manage other chronic conditions. The humble, but mighty beet offers one of many options to consider on your wellness journey.

Even if you’re not into beets, there are numerous paths to wellness. Consider working with a National Board Certified Health & Wellness Coach to help you find your way.

Note: Information in this article is based on the latest published research, but is not a substitute for professional medical care. Always talk to a qualified healthcare provider regarding any medical condition before making any lifestyle changes.

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Six Tips to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution

Michelle Kabashinski — Sat, 06 Jan 2024 20:34:17 +0000

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about your growth this last year?... I know. You may be tempted to list the challenges or things that didn’t happen. But what if you first shined the light on what you did, even if it was just a baby step? I bet there’s something cool you completed that can count as a win.

Perhaps you wanted to learn something new, revisit an old hobby, or change something about yourself. Even though it didn’t exactly happen the way you envisioned, maybe you started a list, did some research, or even invested in something toward a bigger goal. That first step is ABSOLUTELY something to celebrate. And it’s just the beginning of helping you stick to your resolutions.

As a professional health coach, I’ve noticed a few themes when helping clients transform their lives. And if you don’t mind, I’d love to share them here…

#1 Celebrate!
Since motivation comes in waves, why not spark a new wave of motivation by celebrating where you are now? What’s your most recent baby step? The mere fact you’re reading this is something to celebrate. You care enough about yourself to explore how to grow with these valued tips. What else can you celebrate about yourself?

Success inspires more success, and baby steps add up to leaps and bounds. Once you acknowledge even just the littlest step forward, more success will follow. As Mother Theresa said, “Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies”.

When I first started coaching, I noticed my clients would beat themselves up during weekly check-ins, stating something like, “I didn’t change my diet like I wanted to.” But when we took time to explore any new changes, we discovered they indeed took steps towards their goal, like packing their lunch for one day, researching a new recipe, or avoiding a second helping.

That which is acknowledged becomes real. Once my clients recognized a baby step as something to celebrate, there was a spark behind their eyes. They identified with making the change. They acknowledged they had strength in small things. And I love seeing that in my clients. Once this happens, they’re ready for more. And soon, they become the change they want.

#2 Baby Steps!
One of the main reasons new year’s resolutions usually fall flat is because the goal is too big. For someone who tells me their new goal is to walk 30 minutes daily, I’d want to know how many minutes and days they’re currently walking. If the answer is zero minutes and zero days, we might want to scale back to something more achievable.

It’s not that I don’t believe in someone with such an enthusiastic goal. It’s just that I want to support them in something more realistic and, of course, help them to avoid painful setbacks. You know! Hurting themselves by overdoing it. Trust me. It happens. When I was working in gyms, I saw it EVERY January.

Now that you know what you want to change, break it down into what you feel are achievable baby steps. At the same time, challenge yourself. Your sweet spot is going to be different from your friends and family. Finding the balance is about experimenting. This leads us to our next tip.

#3 Trial & Try Again!
You’ve heard of “Trial and Error”, but what about “Trial and Try Again”? Instead of thinking of failed attempts as errors and then giving up, which most of us tend to do - what if instead you reevaluated and adjusted before trying again? If you keep banging your head against the wall, you will only get a headache.

It’s good to take a step back and reevaluate periodically. And when you see the plan isn’t working, don’t wallow in its failure - examine what got in the way, identify the resistance and the underlying belief behind it, and how you can tap into your strength to overcome the challenge next time.

Say you wanted to add more breaks in your work day but can’t seem to get away from those back-to-back meetings. What’s possible? How about we brainstorm? Perhaps… talk to your team about eliminating the number of meetings or ending the meetings five minutes early? What if you took a meeting while walking or doing another activity away from your desk? Would some of the material be better suited in a document?

Okay! You’ve finalized a plan, but you're still not getting away from your desk. What then? Take a look at what happened without judgment. Just look at the facts and recognize the pattern. What do you need to do to make sure you take the deserved break? It could be something as simple as going outside with the dog every 2 hours. He gets his potty break. Both of you get fresh air. And you get your break! Don’t have a dog? Check out the next tip…

#4 Reconnect With Your WHY!
What do you want? … No, really! What is it you truly want for yourself - not for anyone else? If you want to lose weight for your partner, for example, we may need to have a different conversation. This is about YOU.

If you want to lose weight for yourself, how will the weight loss benefit you? Think more deeply than vanity reasons. What’s really motivating you to lose weight? Get specific. One of my clients said that he'd like to lose weight so his belly didn’t get wet while standing under an umbrella.

Once you know your WHY, how will you remind yourself of it every day? Think of your five senses. Is there something that will stimulate your sight with a Post-it; your hearing with a favorite song; or maybe you prefer feeling prayer beads between your fingers? Whatever it is, find something that makes you feel good. If it makes you feel guilty, pick something else. Remember, success inspires more success.

#5 Make A Sandwich!
When adding a new habit, I challenge my clients to attach it to something they already do. It’s called sandwiching, or stacking behaviors.

Maybe you want to start a nightly stretching routine to help you sleep, perhaps you add it AFTER brushing your teeth and BEFORE changing into your pajamas. Once you have your plan, think about what’s going to remind you to stack this new habit into your nightly “sandwich”.

Try to add one layer to your sandwich at a time, otherwise it can get messy.

#6 Work With A Health Coach
Sure you know what to do. But it’s not always easy to make those changes, or recognize the pattern or belief that’s getting in the way. Am I right? Even health coaches hire health coaches. It’s empowering to talk through your plan with an expert in behavior change, plus it’s good to have an “accountabili-buddy”.

The right health coach can help you envision possibilities, overcome obstacles, and challenge you to grow. A professional health coach with the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching credential represents training, education, and assessment standards.

Congratulations on and thank you for reading this article! You can chalk that up as your first win! Whether you’re making plans for the new year or changing a habit any time of the year, I hope you find at least one of these tips helpful for your resolution journey.
And may you have the happiest of happy new years. Be well!

The post Six Tips to Stick to Your New Year’s Resolution appeared first on John & Michelle Kabashinski.

How To Keep Your New Year’s Resolution… even if you’ve already given up!

Michelle Kabashinski — Fri, 27 Jan 2023 01:06:43 +0000

Happy New Year! Happy New You, right?

Before we start changing everything to prepare for a new & improved you, would you mind if we celebrate just how far you’ve come in the last year? Yes?

Perhaps you wanted to learn something new, revisit an old hobby, or change something about yourself. Even though it didn’t exactly happen the way you envisioned, maybe you started a list, did some research, or even invested in something toward a bigger goal. That first step is ABSOLUTELY something to celebrate. And it’s just the beginning of helping you stick to your resolutions.

As a professional health coach, I’ve noticed a few themes when helping clients transform their lives. And if you don’t mind, I’d love to share them here…

#1 Celebrate!

Since motivation comes in waves, why not spark a new wave of motivation by celebrating where you are now? What’s your most recent baby step? The mere fact you’re reading this is something to celebrate. You care enough about yourself to explore how to grow with these valued tips. What else can you celebrate about yourself?

Success inspires more success, and baby steps add up to leaps and bounds. Once you acknowledge even just the littlest step forward, more success will follow. As Mother Theresa said, “Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies”.

When I first started coaching, I noticed my clients would beat themselves up during weekly check-ins, stating something like, “I didn’t change my diet like I wanted to.” But when we took time to explore any new changes, we discovered they indeed took steps towards their goal, like packing their lunch for one day, researching a new recipe, or avoiding a second helping.

That which is acknowledged becomes real. Once my clients recognized a baby step as something to celebrate, there was a spark behind their eyes. They identified with making the change. They acknowledged they had strength in small things. And I love seeing that in my clients. Once this happens, they’re ready for more. And soon, they become the change they want.

#2 Baby Steps!

One of the main reasons new year’s resolutions usually fall flat is because the goal is too big. For someone who tells me their new goal is to walk 30 minutes daily, I’d want to know how many minutes and days they’re currently walking. If the answer is zero minutes and zero days, we might want to scale back to something more achievable.

It’s not that I don’t believe in someone with such an enthusiastic goal. It’s just that I want to support them in something more realistic and, of course, help them to avoid painful setbacks. You know! Hurting themselves by overdoing it. Trust me. It happens. When I was working in gyms, I saw it EVERY January.

Now that you know what you want to change, break it down into what you feel are achievable baby steps. At the same time, challenge yourself. Your sweet spot is going to be different from your friends and family. Finding the balance is about experimenting. This leads us to our next tip.

#3 Trial and Try Again!

You’ve heard of “Trial and Error”, but what about “Trial and Try Again”? Instead of thinking of failed attempts as errors and then giving up, which most of us tend to do - what if instead you reevaluated and adjusted before trying again? If you keep banging your head against the wall, you will only get a headache.

It’s good to take a step back and reevaluate periodically. And when you see the plan isn’t working, don’t wallow in its failure - examine what got in the way, identify the resistance and the underlying belief behind it, and how you can tap into your strength to overcome the challenge next time.

Say you wanted to add more breaks in your work day but can’t seem to get away from those back-to-back meetings. What’s possible? How about we brainstorm? Perhaps… talk to your team about eliminating the number of meetings or ending the meetings five minutes early? What if you took a meeting while walking or doing another activity away from your desk? Would some of the material be better suited in a document?

Okay! You’ve finalized a plan, but you're still not getting away from your desk. What then? Take a look at what happened without judgment. Just look at the facts and recognize the pattern. What do you need to do to make sure you take the deserved break? It could be something as simple as going outside with the dog every 2 hours. He gets his potty break. Both of you get fresh air. And you get your break! Don’t have a dog? Check out the next tip…

#4 Reconnect With Your WHY!

What do you want? … No, really! What is it you truly want for yourself - not for anyone else? If you want to lose weight for your partner, for example, we may need to have a different conversation. This is about YOU.

If you want to lose weight for yourself, how will the weight loss benefit you? Think more deeply than vanity reasons. What’s really motivating you to lose weight? Get specific. One of my clients said that he'd like to lose weight so his belly didn’t get wet while standing under an umbrella.

Once you know your WHY, how will you remind yourself of it every day? Think of your five senses. Is there something that will stimulate your sight with a Post-it; your hearing with a favorite song; or maybe you prefer feeling prayer beads between your fingers? Whatever it is, find something that makes you feel good. If it makes you feel guilty, pick something else. Remember, success inspires more success.

#5 Make A Sandwich!

When adding a new habit, I challenge my clients to attach it to something they already do. It’s called sandwiching, or stacking behaviors.

Maybe you want to start a nightly stretching routine to help you sleep, perhaps you add it AFTER brushing your teeth and BEFORE changing into your pajamas. Once you have your plan, think about what’s going to remind you to stack this new habit into your nightly “sandwich”.

Try to add one layer to your sandwich at a time, otherwise it can get messy.

#6 Work With A Health Coach

Sure you know what to do. But it’s not always easy to make those changes, or recognize the pattern or belief that’s getting in the way. Am I right? Even health coaches hire health coaches. It’s empowering to talk through your plan with an expert in behavior change, plus it’s good to have an “accountabili-buddy”.

The right health coach can help you envision possibilities, overcome obstacles, and challenge you to grow. A professional health coach with the National Board for Health & Wellness Coaching credential represents training, education, and assessment standards.

Congratulations on and thank you for reading this article! You can chalk that up as your first win! Whether you’re making plans for the new year or changing a habit any time of the year, I hope you find at least one of these tips helpful for your resolution journey.

And may you have the happiest of happy new years. Be well!

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